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10 Reasons You Might NOT Want To Hire Rock Paper Simple

March 19th, 2013

the-world-is-coming-to-an-endWe realize that not everyone is a perfect fit for Rock Paper Simple, so we decided it was about time to sit down and figure out who they would be. After exhaustive research (and about a dozen visits to Starbucks), we think we have come up with ten very good reasons why you might not use Rock Paper Simple to build your website.

We by no means are excluding you if any of these are true for you, however we have come to terms with the fact that if one of these are you… it is very likely you will not use our services. We understand, do not fault you and will wait patiently for your circumstances to change.

  1. You are an in-law of one of our staff members.
  2. You don’t like orange and we use too much orange in our website.
  3. You have internet-phobia and the very mention of INTERNET scares the living daylights out of you.
  4. You enjoy the thought of not having an awesome website. (masochist)
  5. Your primary demographic is the cave-men of Mars and we have no experience with that demographic.
  6. You do not like to talk to friendly customer service representatives. You prefer them grumpy and rude.
  7. You prefer long wait times on hold listening to terrible music when calling your web company.
  8. You have a devious plan to ruin the economy by NOT selling anything.
  9. You are mired in quicksand and moving to dial our number would result in sinking to the gritty depths.
  10. The world is coming to an end and thus you have no need for a website… since without a world, it’s kinda pointless.


Ok, so we are really just having a little fun and being silly. But hey, what’s life without a little fun?

(no in-laws, economies or worlds were harmed in the making of this post, although we had an accident when testing #9… we are still looking for Chris in the quicksand)

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Joshua Adams

Owner and "Head Honcho" at Rock Paper Simple
I'm Joshua Adams and I'm so glad to have met you. Wait, I have met you, haven't I? If not, be sure to connect with me so I can have the pleasure! No, seriously... come on by the office and say hello, or at least send me an email! There's so much I want to say, but oh, so very little time. Plus who wants to read an enormous bio of some guy who wrote the blog post you just read? Am I right? Anyways, to keep it short and simple, I am all about web design, marketing, branding (16+ years in the industry)... the whole deal, and am an entrepreneur even before those. I like meeting new people, rooting for the Steelers, playing soccer, collecting board games and my God means more to me than anything. So there you have it! That's me and if you are looking for web design in Melbourne FL, let us know... we'd love to help!