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10 Reasons You Might NOT Want To Hire Rock Paper Simple

March 19th, 2013

the-world-is-coming-to-an-endWe realize that not everyone is a perfect fit for Rock Paper Simple, so we decided it was about time to sit down and figure out who they would be. After exhaustive research (and about a dozen visits to Starbucks), we think we have come up with ten very good reasons why you might not use Rock Paper Simple to build your website.

We by no means are excluding you if any of these are true for you, however we have come to terms with the fact that if one of these are you… it is very likely you will not use our services. We understand, do not fault you and will wait patiently for your circumstances to change.

  1. You are an in-law of one of our staff members.
  2. You don’t like orange and we use too much orange in our website.
  3. You have internet-phobia and the very mention of INTERNET scares the living daylights out of you.
  4. You enjoy the thought of not having an awesome website. (masochist)
  5. Your primary demographic is the cave-men of Mars and we have no experience with that demographic.
  6. You do not like to talk to friendly customer service representatives. You prefer them grumpy and rude.
  7. You prefer long wait times on hold listening to terrible music when calling your web company.
  8. You have a devious plan to ruin the economy by NOT selling anything.
  9. You are mired in quicksand and moving to dial our number would result in sinking to the gritty depths.
  10. The world is coming to an end and thus you have no need for a website… since without a world, it’s kinda pointless.

 

Ok, so we are really just having a little fun and being silly. But hey, what’s life without a little fun?

(no in-laws, economies or worlds were harmed in the making of this post, although we had an accident when testing #9… we are still looking for Chris in the quicksand)

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Joshua Adams

Owner and "Head Honcho" at Rock Paper Simple
My passion is to develop simple solutions to solve complex problems; to help my clients and partners produce results for their business online. I’ve been around the block, with over 12 years of experience in the industry. My background includes web design, web development, internet marketing, traditional marketing, branding, speaking and more. As much as my passion for the web drives me, I also have a passion for people and I love helping empower others for success and believe that is one of the factors to drives my own success. If I can help you get to your goals and dreams... I'll get to mine too!

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